Motivation for Life: A Brand New Car

At some point in life, we’ve all been in a place that we would prefer not to be in.  From being in unproductive relationships to working in undesirable places of employment, none of us are immune to bad circumstances.  Instead of removing ourselves from the situation, we typically complain about it, talk about what we plan to do next, and ultimately remain stuck in the same place.  After extreme frustration sets in, we usually decide to do something about it.

Whenever you’ve pulled yourself out of a difficult situation, it is important to remind yourself of what you’ve overcome.  It is also essential to remember exactly how you felt during that period of time.  If you don’t, you could easily wind up back in the same spot you fought so hard to get out of.  For example, 0n a random workday in my former career, I decided to document my thoughts and feelings.  I wanted to capture the moment so that I could revisit it later.  Now that I’m no longer in that situation, I definitely don’t want to go back, especially after re-reading my thoughts.  If you’re currently in a bad situation, I hope this motivates you to document your thoughts and use it as motivation in the future.

…….Today was one of those days.  One of those days when you wake and up and say to yourself, “what am I doing and why am I doing it?”  I am not short of things to motivate me in life.  In fact, I can think of numerous reasons to keep doing what I’m doing and not change a single thing.  But why?  Why should I settle for a life that is un-fulfilling, uninspiring, and any other appropriate adjective that that one can think of?  I shouldn’t.  No one should.  So why do we settle.  Is the pressure from society so immense that we willingly subject ourselves to situations that are clearly not meant for us?  In case you haven’t caught on yet, I’m referring to the fact that I really, really, really hate my job.  I hate my job so much that while at work, the only thing I can think of is how much I hate my job.  I used to be able to wear the mask and blend in with my fellow corporate drones.  But nowadays, it’s hard for me to even crack a smile and act interested in meetings and such.  Today someone passed by my cubicle and cracked a joke.  This sort of thing is common in the workplace and I usually respond with a slight chuckle.  Not because I found the joke funny, but just to acknowledge my fellow drone.  Well today, I didn’t respond in any way.  In fact, the lame joke only increased my level of frustration.  I wasn’t frustrated with the drone or his meager attempt at office chatter.  Instead I was frustrated that I’ve subjected myself to that type of thing for nearly four years.  Four years of fake smiling, extreme boredom, random office chatter, and anything else about life in a corporate setting is enough to drive someone crazy.  I think I’ve reached my breaking point and can only look forward to having a mental breakdown if I continue down this path.

I consider myself one of the fortunate ones because I have the option of actually leaving the workplace.  I didn’t make the mistake of tying myself and my wife down with a mortgage and fancy cars, and I don’t have any small mouths to feed.  Unfortunately for others, their situation doesn’t allow them to just walk away from that paycheck they get every two weeks.  Now imagine that.  Feeling the way I do about my job but having several anchors forcing you to keep your seat.  How about the numerous corporate drones that have been laid off during the economic recession?  Now if that doesn’t cause one to ‘go postal’ then I don’t know what else will.  You would think the fact that I have a ‘good-paying’ job in this climate would be reason enough for me to stay put.  But for some reason it’s more motivation for me to run for the hills.  Maybe one of those anchored-down former drone types who lost his job could benefit from mine.  Hmm…maybe not, because I wouldn’t wish what I’m going through on my worst enemy.

Whenever I talk about calling it quits and walking away from the corporate world, I’m always asked, “what will you do next?”  I immediately respond and say “not this!”  The reason I got into this situation in the first place is due to focusing too much on doing and not taking time to sit back and think.  Had I conducted the thinking exercise when I finished high school, I may have still ventured down the same career path since I wasn’t exposed to much else.  After getting through the first two years of engineering school and completing one corporate internship, the thinking exercise would have yielded very different results.  During the first two years of college I was enrolled in 20 or more courses, and I recall thoroughly enjoying only two of them.  My first corporate internship enabled me to earn a lot of money and a four-year academic scholarship, but it was the also one of the most boring summers in my life.  Amazingly I completed four more corporate internships and the level of boredom I experienced increased with each one.  I still can’t understand why after two years of being an engineering student I didn’t change to art or something else more interesting.  Maybe the scholarship I was awarded the summer before my freshman year had something to do with it.  Someone else was paying for it so I just toughed it out.  Had I been forced to work and pay my way through school, I’m certain I wouldn’t be a cubicle-dwelling drone right now.

Someone has to take responsibility for my current situation.  It sure wasn’t my idea.  How about I place the blame on my father.  Yeah, that sounds good.  Throughout my childhood he told me, “If you get a full scholarship to college, I’ll buy you a brand new car.”  He knew my love for cars would motivate me.  I wish I had a greater love for planes back then.  Dad couldn’t have bought me one of those……..